Belong, Believe, Be Aware, Become

 

Our 4 Bs

We wanted to spend a minute and talk about the powerful "Be" statements for MyBaby4Me.

BELONG:  We work hard to create an open, accepting, comfortable space for our families. We know that they will learn better if they trust that we and the other class participants welcome and accept them. These are "their" women!  They identify with each other and can easily draw parallels from the life stories of those in the room.  They can (and are) amazingly open with their challenges, and it has been beautiful to see the love extended by class members when someone is vulnerable and emotional. The phrase "...and comfort those that stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:9) comes to mind. Recently one woman was tearfully sharing that she never felt her own mother loved or accepted her and has a strained relationship even to this day with her mother.  And another woman said "But look at you!  You are here, you are trying to be a good momma to your kids, and your kids will never have the feelings you have now.  They KNOW you love them."  What powerful reinforcing encouragement coming from another "sister" in the room. 

BELIEVE:  Our goal is to help these women come to know that they CAN change their lives to be different than they may have experienced as a child, that they can grow, that they can finish or continue school, that they can have a healthy relationship with a partner, that they can care for and love and nurture their baby...to spark the divinity within them.  Sometimes the "believe" statement comes from a woman receiving a tiny newborn outfit for their baby....their eyes light up and all of a sudden, they believe. They sense that they are a part of the miracle of creation, and they need to rise to the occasion of being the kind of parent they wished had raised them. 

BE AWARE:  Prematurity represents a significant part of high infant mortality rates.  Babies born too soon without the ability to sustain life outside of the protection of their mother's womb.  It is our goal to make sure all of our pregnant women know what sensations and symptoms are normal and what are not. Premature labor can often be stopped if a woman reaches care in time. We talk openly and honestly about contractions, bleeding, groin pain, back pain.....and have actually transported women to care or gone with them to act as an advocate in a medical setting if needed.  A full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks; every baby deserves every day they need to be born healthy. We want our women to be aware of anything that might be a threat to them or their baby; that includes anything they may take into their body (like drugs, tobacco, alcohol, medications) and any physical symptoms that may represent that they need immediate care.

BECOME: Are we not all "becoming"?  We enter this life as infants, a fresh canvas.  As we grow, each experience we have builds on our previous experiences. We make choices and learn and grow.  We ask our women hard questions.  Questions like, "What does it mean to you to provide for your family?' which leads to a discussion about steps within their grasp for getting a GED or finishing high school or getting job training or writing a resume or being successful in a job interview.  We got a phone call after that discussion in class the evening before; one of our women just wanted us to know that she had finished all her high school credits, but was very pregnant at the time of graduation and was too ashamed to walk across the stage to accept her diploma.  What she heard motivated her to call the State Board of Education and request her diploma and her high school transcript.  It had been 10 years and for the first time, she had a document that she needed to apply for a job.  Becoming. Looking forward to what more she can achieve.  

Food For Families

Our other adventures this past month included the miracle of a food delivery from Salt Lake City for our women and families. 

It was definitely a "loaves and fishes" multiplication story; we were expecting 12 pallets of shelf-stable groceries on that semi-truck and somehow the truck was sent with 24 pallets. TWICE AS MUCH as we had planned for. Senior and junior missionaries quickly adapted and made plans for storage for all that food, and miraculously unloaded and stacked it in 3 different locations in Memphis.  We provide a sack of groceries to every woman at every class.  The groceries we received will last until the next set of missionaries arrive to replace us here in Memphis.  We have peanut butter and jam and pancake mix and syrup and spaghetti sauce and noodles.  We have milk. We have canned chili and stew. Stomachs need not be empty.

Our Beautiful Babies are Adding Up

We had 2 of our women give birth on the same day!  And as we write this issue of our blog, we are anxiously waiting for news of another birth today.  Each one is a miracle.  So perfect.  How we share in the joy of families as these babies arrive; each one bringing hope for the future and a love that is so deep in the bearing of a child that it can hardly be expressed.  We have had 7 babies born to MyBaby4Me women since we started. Here are the two that share the same birthday....one boy and one girl. 

What Do We Actually Teach at MyBaby4Me Groups?

Great question!  We base our teaching on the issues that can affect and reduce Infant Mortality Rates.  Most of our curriculum was gifted to MyBaby4Me from the Moms2Be program at Ohio State University. We have also added to those materials based on our partnerships here in Memphis and those willing to bring their knowledge and experience to our families.  

This past month we focused on the health impacts of Gratitude, Infant Safety (including choking and infant CPR with mannequins for practice), how and where to find resources like housing, food, transportation, utility assistance, etc. in Memphis, and how styles of communication can affect our relationships and the way our needs are either met or not met. October brings "Growing a Healthy Baby" class by University of Memphis Dietician students, Adverse Childhood Events and Trauma by counselors from Omni Health/the Family Intervention and Therapy Program, a Labor and Delivery class by the University of Tennessee Family Medicine Residency Program and a Managing Your Money class from the Financial Empowerment Program her in Memphis.  All of our topics relate to pregnancy outcomes.....either physical health or the Social Determinants of Health.  And we do all of this with children of all ages that come to our MyBaby4Me groups with our women.  We are so grateful for the many volunteers and partners/instructors that make all of this work. 

S.N.A.P/Food Stamp Limitations

Most people who have never had to rely on public assistance programs don't understand the "rules" that apply to receive and use those benefits.  

One barrier our women have is that "food stamps" (or what is formally called the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) only covers food.  No toilet paper or hand soap or deodorant or razors or sanitary supplies or paper towels or toilet cleaner or shampoo or toothpaste or laundry detergent or cleaning supplies.  

Low-income individuals and families depend on food stamps to eat, but how are they supposed to wash their hands to prepare food or wash their dishes after eating it, or clean themselves or their clothes when they don't have income to purchase these items?

We have, on more than one occasion, provided cleaning supplies to families in need. And sometimes a pan of brownies to let them know that we love them for wanting to clean their homes and their children's teeth and clothes and their floors. 

One Year Ago for the Archibalds

It was on September 30th of 2022 that we began attending weekly virtual meetings with MyBaby4Me leaders in preparation for our mission call.  We knew then that although we would be serving in the United States, we would be serving those whose race, ethnicity, backgrounds, and experience was very different from our own.  Our love for these women and families grew each day that we prepared to serve, and each day we have been here in Memphis serving. 

We were touched by this quote from Elder Christophe G. Giraud-Carrier during his talk from the October 2023 Worldwide General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

"We may have been raised in different cultures; we may come from different socioeconomic circumstances; our mortal heritage, including our nationality, skin color, food preferences, political orientation, etc., may vary greatly. But we are His children, all of us, without exception. We have the same divine origin and the same limitless potential through the grace of Jesus Christ."

May you each feel a sense of that limitless potential and see others as having the same potential.  We are all becoming..... 

Love, Lynn and Joell Archibald

MyBaby4Me: 9 Months of Work to Improve Outcomes for Moms and Babies

 

Life with Transportation Challenges The majority of our women do not have cars....or at least reliable cars or cars in working order.  Even though Memphis is a big metropolitan area, the MATA (area transportation authority) routes and timing of buses are far from adequate for the needs they have for themselves and their families.   Part of MyBaby4Me is providing free transportation to and from our group meetings; we don't want the lack of transportation to be a barrier to our women growing and learning.  So, Uber and Lyft have become 2nd nature to us....more to Lynn as he is the chief people-hauler-arranger.  Lynn lines up multiple back-to-back trips and then reversing the process for the return home after class.  That has proven challenging; since we are the ones ordering the rides, the services communicate with us about arrival time, driver profile and vehicle description/license plate info.  We, in turn need to call or text the family to give them those details, as well as when the driver is expected to arrive.  We have had Uber/Lyft cancel at the last minute, leave a woman and her children stranded because they didn't get to the car fast enough, and one driver who chain-smoked in his car the whole ride with a pregnant woman and her young child.   Effective July 1st, we entered into a contract with a black woman-owned business called MedHaul.  They have a federal grant to improve birth outcomes for black women so a partnership with them is a perfect match (another miracle for our miracle book).  Their drivers will actually communicate directly with the woman we have ordered the ride for, will go to their door and help them to the car, provide car seats and boosters as needed, and can be scheduled in advance.  AND, because of the nature of the grant, we can provide transportation to grocery stores, pharmacies and medical appts. because those things improve birth outcomes.  MedHaul has been such a blessing and has reduced our project operating expenses.  Even more important is that women and their children are treated with care and respect.
MyBaby4Me On the Move! We shared the news of the NAACP remodeling project in our last blog. We are excited that construction began on August 1st, which required that we move our classes to a different location during the construction process. It was a priority for the NAACP to keep classes in the same neighborhood familiar to our women. And then, a librarian from the close-by branch of the Memphis Public Library contacted the NAACP and offered to partner. We found a new best friend! The library has a goal of our women seeing them as a community resource and wants everyone to have a free library card. We have a goal of having an ADA accessible and inclusive environment that will allow us access multiple days/week and allow us to feed women and their children in that space. We began meeting at the library during the first week of August and our women are now checking out books on child development and getting help with job searches and resume skills via library programs.
Baby coming soon! Shartravia was 17 when she conceived and is 18 years old now. She comes from a family environment that has been chaotic with a mom who has used drugs and no longer has custody of her children. Shartravia shared with us that she wanted her life to be different. She has been a motivated learner. She was staying in a single room in a boarding house; it was probably the worst living environment we have ever seen....and was evicted from that place on July 31st because it is being torn down. We have worked hard to help her identify a stable place to live by the time of her due date (September 5th). Shartravia asked if we could host a baby shower for her at the NAACP offices. We were glad to do so, and had a "Layettes with Love" donation all ready to give her. We set the date for a Saturday in July and she invited 20-25 people. We ordered a cake, decorated the room, put the layette donations out on a table and sent an Uber to pick Shartravia up. She was all dressed up for the occasion; no one she invited came....not even her mother. Oh how my momma heart hurt for her as she worked her cell phone and we heard "I thought you'all was comin to my Baby Shower" on the repeat. It was a hard day and an example of the fragile or non-existent or rapidly changing support systems our MyBaby4Me moms have. We showed her extra love that day as we took her home and reminded her that because of her resolve to create a different kind of life for her baby, he will never feel what she was feeling that day. Shartravia has now settled in to live with her father and his girlfriend, who are excited about the pregnancy and baby and supporting her. We are delivering her layette, diapers, and a donated crib and changing table to her this week. We are encouraging her to engage in a H.S. completion program. Shartravia has accepted the opportunity to be a part of the Nurse Family Partnership program here in Memphis and has her own home visiting nurse for weekly visits with her and her baby. For all of the challenges, we see resilience and a hope for a different life for her and her baby.
The Impact of Blood Pressure on Black Maternal Health Outcomes When the autopsy results for Olympic athlete Tori Bowles were released, it got the attention of our MyBaby4Me women.  It had been determined that she died when 8 months pregnant.  It is well-established that black women have higher rates of death associated with pregnancy than women of other races. Blood pressure is a big contributor to that mortality rate.  More black women begin their pregnancy with elevated blood pressure, more black women develop blood pressure problems during a pregnancy (and they come on more suddenly) and more black women develop blood pressure complications in the weeks and months following delivery. We wanted our women to hear about these risks and the steps they could take to identify to manage those risks. We were so fortunate to be connected with Dr. Ashley Matthews, who is an Associate Professor at the University of Tennessee School of Medicine and directs the Family Practice Residency Program. The UT places a special emphasis on OB training for their FP doctors, because many of them go on to practice in rural areas.  Dr. Matthews was eager to come and speak to our MyBaby4Me classes, and it was a powerful experience.  To have a black female physician (who came in scrubs from her work) who understands the fear our women experience and gave them information they trust was very meaningful to them. We can't necessarily measure impact of those efforts (measuring things that are prevented from happening is hard), but our women took the discussion seriously.
Where is Home Now? How is Housing Related to Health? "My dad kicked me and my baby out."   "I won't be at that address tomorrow cuz I moved from my sister's place to stay with my momma."  "My dad and his girlfriend have an extra bedroom that I can stay in." "I gotta get out of here but don't have no place to live." "The housing inspectors be comin' Tuesday and gonna tell me I need to take my babies and go to a motel because the mold is so bad here."  "I feel safe here as long as I keep my door locked." All things we have heard in the past weeks. For most of us, we have an address that we come and go from each day, sleep in the same bed every night, and (hopefully) have clothes and a closet, a kitchen with a fridge, stove and food and supportive family that we share those things with.  What happens when none of that is true? When home is an elusive concept? How do we reinforce safe sleep for an infant if the only sleep surface is an air mattress? How do our families receive mail when their address on file is somewhere many moves ago? Where do they go when their slumlord doesn't provide or repair the air conditioning and the heat index is 110 degrees?   One of our women has an apartment infested by rats.  She has a king-sized mattress, but it is on the floor.  She texted us and asked if we could get her a bed frame to get the mattress off the floor.  The rats have chewed through clothing in the apartment and now are chewing on the mattress while she is in bed.  Her landlord is unresponsive to the issue. She pays $875/month for her apartment + utilities. Which comes first?  Poverty or housing insecurity or the ability to find a livable wage job or transportation to get to work or child care so you can go to work?
Getting the MyBaby4Me Brand Out There! We continue to be included/invited to have vendor tables at events with partners.  Our communication staff with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints have provided us some materials that help us set up a professional-looking display and have something to provide to the pregnant women and families that come to these events. Recently we participated in an event that was held to honor and promote breastfeeding during National Breastfeeding Month.  We love talking with women and meeting new partners and sharing news about the resources of MyBaby4Me.
Sights and Sounds of the Mid-South Summer Have you ever heard a cicada?  We began hearing them here around July 4th and they haven't stopped.  They have an exceptionally loud screech....think of Utah crickets multiplied.  What's more is that a single cicada can sound like a thousand.  How people in the south think that sitting on their porches on summer evenings listening to cicadas is relaxing, we will never understand.  One cicada got through our front door; he was undetected until later that day and it was worse than seeing the big cockroaches that lived with us for the first few months!   And this is the "Bike Arch" at Overton Park.  It makes our hearts happy when we drive this route in Memphis.  Dedicated in 2014, it marks a bike/pedestrian path through the park. Originally, a freeway was planned to be constructed through this green space; opponents fought that plan and this bike arch by a local artist celebrates the preservation of that green space for public use.
A Full Term Pregnancy is 40 Weeks....We Hit the 40 Week Mark of Our Missionary Service We cheer our pregnant women every week that goes by and they are able to get that much closer to having a baby close to their due date.  Prematurity is one of the major causes of Infant Mortality. There are so many parallels between those 40 weeks of pregnancy and our first 40 weeks of our mission.  When a woman finds out she is pregnant, she may be anxious, scared, unsure of how life will look at the end of that 40 weeks, unsure of how she will "become" a mother and know how to mother.  Relationships change, self-identity changes, lifestyle changes, jobs/income may change, housing may shift.....a LOT to adjust to. As missionaries receive their mission call and leave home to serve, many of the same things happen.  Initial anxiety and uncertainty about one's assignment, a new living environment, leaving friends/family/community and gaining new friends/family/community and "becoming" something different or more than we were before. Excitement, anxiety, worry, anticipation are common emotions with both new experiences. Just as motherhood changes a woman, our missionary service has changed us.  We have marked 40 weeks but aren't done yet!  We are planning for the possibility of more classes in other parts of Memphis, the possibility of MyBaby4Me in other cities in the South, on how best to transition this project with new missionaries and celebrating the births of healthy babies and their first birthdays!
Going Through Hard Times In Romans 8:28, Paul wrote: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God...."  As we get to know our women and their challenges, we think about how hard their lives have been and (in many cases) still are. We are drawn to a General Conference address by Elder James B. Martino.  "Our Heavenly Father, who loves us completely and perfectly, permits us to have experiences that will allow us to develop the traits and attributes we need to become more Christlike.  Our trials come in many forms, but each will allow us to become more like the Savior as we learn to recognize the good that comes from each experience.  As we understand this doctrine, we gain greater assurance of our Father's love. We may never know in this life why we face what we do, but we can feel confident that we can grow from the experience." With appreciation for your support, Lynn and Joell Archibald

Summer 2023

 

WOW, is it hot in Memphis! We kept hearing, "If you think it is hot now, wait until summer." Well, summer has arrived.  Now Memphis is under a Weather Alert for extreme temperatures through the weekend.  The chart about uses the actual predicted temperatures compounded by the level of humidity to reach a "heat index".  We are thankful every single day for air conditioning....at the office, in our car and in our apartment.
A Heart Attack of the Good Kind! It is hard to be away from home and loved ones.  We have felt support and love across the miles from our home ward members in Seaside while away on our mission.  This month we received an envelope in our mailbox full of hearts with encouraging comments from ward members.   We were so touched by each thought expressed and the love we felt in reading and re-reading those individual hearts.  We thought of each ward member as we read them and how those individual ward members had blessed our lives over the 30+ years we have been members of the Seaside Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  It may have seemed a small thing to them to write a couple of sentences on a paper heart, but it was a huge thing to this couple so far from home.  We love you all for your encouragement.
A Semi-Truckload of Food A key part of our MyBaby4Me groups is that we provide a meal for all participants to enjoy together.  Ideally, we gently introduce a topic during the meal when all our moms and children are gathered around the big conference room table and we have a discussion.  Rich stories and advice being offered by one mom to other moms happen during these meals. And there are days when a fair amount of chaos occurs, especially with young children around the table.  We are reminded of days when our large family gathered around the dinner table....there were always complaints about not liking a food being served and drinks spilled, but also chatter and laughter and connection.  We are bonded when breaking bread together.  We wonder if some of our women come to class not necessarily to learn what we are trying to teach, but to be fed and have their hungry children fed. And we are good with that too! After our MyBaby4 Me families finish eating, we help them prepare to return to their home. Another part of our efforts is sending each family home with a box of shelf-stable food that we obtain through the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Bishop's Storehouse system.  The box may contain pasta, spaghetti sauce, canned fruits and vegetables, peanut butter, dish soap, laundry detergent, etc.  Our goal is to provide a little extra for families to make it through the week until our next class.  We store cases of these supplies here at the NAACP offices, and more is stored at a partner near us called Vance Avenue Youth Development Center.  Sister Jean B. Bingham, the General Relief Society President for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints said recently that "Food is more than just a means of satisfying hunger; it is also a metaphor for love and comfort." At the end of May, a semi-truck load of 13 pallets of groceries from the Bishop's Storehouse arrived on Vance Avenue in Memphis.  Food given freely to those in need, with labor provided by local missionaries to unload the truck and then load things into our car to take it back to the NAACP offices for our families.....to fill empty stomachs and convey love, comfort and caring.
Build A Kitchen (or bathroom or laundry room or living room) Living in poverty is hard.  We have women who have lost their housing and are homeless when pregnant, with an infant and possibly older children.  When we support them to get housing again, they may have nothing except the clothes they are wearing to move into a home.  At the same time, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has over 75,000 missionaries serving world-wide, and have a well-developed system of furnishing apartments for them.  So, we got the list of what goes in a kitchen, what goes in a bathroom, what goes in a laundry room, etc. and have distributed those lists through the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  We now have units of the Church gathering furniture and essential household items for when our women move into a place without what they need....like "Build a Bear" but "Build a Room"!  These pictures represent a new apartment for a family where that all came together.  We were able to join with those who donated items and those who donated time to gather, transport, load, unload, carry up to a 3rd floor apartment, and then arrange with love. The items donated included a washer and dryer as well as beds, shower curtains, pots and pans, knives, dishes....even a quesadilla maker! Each used piece of furniture or household goods item donated blesses our women and their families.  Can you imagine moving into an apartment that looked like this due to the love and efforts of people you don't even know?  Marquel (in the yellow T shirt and braids) and his fiance Dominique were so happy and grateful on this Saturday. They have 6 children....we have since located 2 sets of bunkbeds including mattresses and bedding for 4 of the children.  Those bunk beds and how they came to be donated went on to our list of mission miracles.
Dr. VanCleave, Pediatric Dentist from the UT Dental School After several months of effort, we were able to connect with dental professionals to bring an educational session on oral health to our women.  Did you know that if pregnant women have inflamed gums, they are at higher risk of pre-term labor and delivery?   Dr. VanCleave was an amazing educator with our women....helping them to know about healthy practices for them, their babies, and their toddlers.  She brought infant and toddler toothbrushes and toothpaste for everyone.  She actually got down on the floor and demonstrated how to properly brush the teeth of a pre-schooler who was a cooperative patient.  We value these connections and partnerships so much; Dr. VanCleve is excited to come back and will bring dental students the next time.  In the meantime, our women have a new "friend" and a resource for establishing a dental home for their children at the UT Dental Clinic.
History project documenting MyBaby4Me We were contacted by the Church History department several weeks ago to discuss capturing an audio history of the beginnings of MyBaby4Me.  We had the privilege to meet Ray and Kay Luce, who have a church calling to travel across the South doing interviews and then sending that audio content to Salt Lake City to be archived for historical purposes.  The Luces came to Memphis the last week of June, interviewed some of the leaders of MyBaby4Me and interviewed some of our women about their experiences with the MyBaby4Me program.  They stayed to observe one of our lively classes and were so wonderful to engage our women and help them feel comfortable in this process. What a service they are providing with their skills and experience in documenting efforts.
Another Baby Shower and Layette on June 17th  On Saturday, June 17th, we had a Baby Shower for our youngest MyBaby4Me participant.  Marcalah is 15 and we are so excited that she was able to carry her baby to term. It was a special baby shower because in addition to Marcalah, her mom and sister, her grandma and some of her other relatives, we had the Church Communications teams with cameras and microphones and some of our other MyBaby4Me moms.  We enjoyed, food, baby shower games, and all things baby boy.  This is a picture of a full "Layettes With Love" donated by one of the Memphis area LDS wards for Marcalah's baby. Marcalah ending up being induced for labor after her due date, and then delivering this beautiful 7 lb 5 oz healthy baby boy on the 4th of July!
Juneteenth (June 19th) We have saved the best for last in this blog issue.  We had the blessing of meeting Elder Matthew Holland on June 19th as he came to Memphis for a special occasion at the NAACP office.  It was the official groundbreaking and announcement by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints of a $500,000 investment into a construction project at the NAACP offices.  The renovations will benefit the NAACP branch membership as well as MyBaby4Me and will provide a larger conference room space equipped with technology for onsite and virtual meetings as well as a commercial kitchen to allow food storage and preparation to happen on site. This event allowed the media to hear more about MyBaby4Me, to interview some of our participants, and have access to Elder Holland, Elder Beheshti, NAACP leaders and some of our partners.   The public event was followed by a private lunch with Elder Holland and the MyBaby4Me leaders.  We felt blessed to sit across the table from Elder Holland and have a discussion about our work.  Being able to spend time with a General Authority will be one of the most special memories of our mission and time in Memphis.  Here are the links to the news stories from Juneteenth:  CBS - NAACP marks Juneteenth with renovation of downtown headquarters (wreg.com)   ABC - Memphis NAACP fights infant mortality with classes for new moms | localmemphis.com   Fox - WATCH: MyBaby4Me aims to help new moms in the Mid-South through pregnancy | News | fox13memphis.com   NBC- Organization ‘MyBaby4Me’ works to fight infant mortality in the Bluff City (actionnews5.com)   Church Newsroom –On Juneteenth, How the NAACP and the Church Are Carrying Out a Prophet's Vision (churchofjesuschrist.org) YouTube – On Juneteenth, How the NAACP and the Church of Jesus Christ Are Carrying Out a Prophet’s Vision - YouTube   Church News - Church donates $500,000 to renovate Memphis NCAAP for MyBaby4Me - Church News (thechurchnews.com)
We close with this scripture: "Think of your brethren like unto yourselves and be familiar with all and free with your substance, that they may be rich like unto you.  But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ, ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good--to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and afflicted." Jacob 2:17-19 Love, Elder Lynn and Sister Joell Archibald