Belong, Believe, Be Aware, Become

 

Our 4 Bs

We wanted to spend a minute and talk about the powerful "Be" statements for MyBaby4Me.

BELONG:  We work hard to create an open, accepting, comfortable space for our families. We know that they will learn better if they trust that we and the other class participants welcome and accept them. These are "their" women!  They identify with each other and can easily draw parallels from the life stories of those in the room.  They can (and are) amazingly open with their challenges, and it has been beautiful to see the love extended by class members when someone is vulnerable and emotional. The phrase "...and comfort those that stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:9) comes to mind. Recently one woman was tearfully sharing that she never felt her own mother loved or accepted her and has a strained relationship even to this day with her mother.  And another woman said "But look at you!  You are here, you are trying to be a good momma to your kids, and your kids will never have the feelings you have now.  They KNOW you love them."  What powerful reinforcing encouragement coming from another "sister" in the room. 

BELIEVE:  Our goal is to help these women come to know that they CAN change their lives to be different than they may have experienced as a child, that they can grow, that they can finish or continue school, that they can have a healthy relationship with a partner, that they can care for and love and nurture their baby...to spark the divinity within them.  Sometimes the "believe" statement comes from a woman receiving a tiny newborn outfit for their baby....their eyes light up and all of a sudden, they believe. They sense that they are a part of the miracle of creation, and they need to rise to the occasion of being the kind of parent they wished had raised them. 

BE AWARE:  Prematurity represents a significant part of high infant mortality rates.  Babies born too soon without the ability to sustain life outside of the protection of their mother's womb.  It is our goal to make sure all of our pregnant women know what sensations and symptoms are normal and what are not. Premature labor can often be stopped if a woman reaches care in time. We talk openly and honestly about contractions, bleeding, groin pain, back pain.....and have actually transported women to care or gone with them to act as an advocate in a medical setting if needed.  A full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks; every baby deserves every day they need to be born healthy. We want our women to be aware of anything that might be a threat to them or their baby; that includes anything they may take into their body (like drugs, tobacco, alcohol, medications) and any physical symptoms that may represent that they need immediate care.

BECOME: Are we not all "becoming"?  We enter this life as infants, a fresh canvas.  As we grow, each experience we have builds on our previous experiences. We make choices and learn and grow.  We ask our women hard questions.  Questions like, "What does it mean to you to provide for your family?' which leads to a discussion about steps within their grasp for getting a GED or finishing high school or getting job training or writing a resume or being successful in a job interview.  We got a phone call after that discussion in class the evening before; one of our women just wanted us to know that she had finished all her high school credits, but was very pregnant at the time of graduation and was too ashamed to walk across the stage to accept her diploma.  What she heard motivated her to call the State Board of Education and request her diploma and her high school transcript.  It had been 10 years and for the first time, she had a document that she needed to apply for a job.  Becoming. Looking forward to what more she can achieve.  

Food For Families

Our other adventures this past month included the miracle of a food delivery from Salt Lake City for our women and families. 

It was definitely a "loaves and fishes" multiplication story; we were expecting 12 pallets of shelf-stable groceries on that semi-truck and somehow the truck was sent with 24 pallets. TWICE AS MUCH as we had planned for. Senior and junior missionaries quickly adapted and made plans for storage for all that food, and miraculously unloaded and stacked it in 3 different locations in Memphis.  We provide a sack of groceries to every woman at every class.  The groceries we received will last until the next set of missionaries arrive to replace us here in Memphis.  We have peanut butter and jam and pancake mix and syrup and spaghetti sauce and noodles.  We have milk. We have canned chili and stew. Stomachs need not be empty.

Our Beautiful Babies are Adding Up

We had 2 of our women give birth on the same day!  And as we write this issue of our blog, we are anxiously waiting for news of another birth today.  Each one is a miracle.  So perfect.  How we share in the joy of families as these babies arrive; each one bringing hope for the future and a love that is so deep in the bearing of a child that it can hardly be expressed.  We have had 7 babies born to MyBaby4Me women since we started. Here are the two that share the same birthday....one boy and one girl. 

What Do We Actually Teach at MyBaby4Me Groups?

Great question!  We base our teaching on the issues that can affect and reduce Infant Mortality Rates.  Most of our curriculum was gifted to MyBaby4Me from the Moms2Be program at Ohio State University. We have also added to those materials based on our partnerships here in Memphis and those willing to bring their knowledge and experience to our families.  

This past month we focused on the health impacts of Gratitude, Infant Safety (including choking and infant CPR with mannequins for practice), how and where to find resources like housing, food, transportation, utility assistance, etc. in Memphis, and how styles of communication can affect our relationships and the way our needs are either met or not met. October brings "Growing a Healthy Baby" class by University of Memphis Dietician students, Adverse Childhood Events and Trauma by counselors from Omni Health/the Family Intervention and Therapy Program, a Labor and Delivery class by the University of Tennessee Family Medicine Residency Program and a Managing Your Money class from the Financial Empowerment Program her in Memphis.  All of our topics relate to pregnancy outcomes.....either physical health or the Social Determinants of Health.  And we do all of this with children of all ages that come to our MyBaby4Me groups with our women.  We are so grateful for the many volunteers and partners/instructors that make all of this work. 

S.N.A.P/Food Stamp Limitations

Most people who have never had to rely on public assistance programs don't understand the "rules" that apply to receive and use those benefits.  

One barrier our women have is that "food stamps" (or what is formally called the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) only covers food.  No toilet paper or hand soap or deodorant or razors or sanitary supplies or paper towels or toilet cleaner or shampoo or toothpaste or laundry detergent or cleaning supplies.  

Low-income individuals and families depend on food stamps to eat, but how are they supposed to wash their hands to prepare food or wash their dishes after eating it, or clean themselves or their clothes when they don't have income to purchase these items?

We have, on more than one occasion, provided cleaning supplies to families in need. And sometimes a pan of brownies to let them know that we love them for wanting to clean their homes and their children's teeth and clothes and their floors. 

One Year Ago for the Archibalds

It was on September 30th of 2022 that we began attending weekly virtual meetings with MyBaby4Me leaders in preparation for our mission call.  We knew then that although we would be serving in the United States, we would be serving those whose race, ethnicity, backgrounds, and experience was very different from our own.  Our love for these women and families grew each day that we prepared to serve, and each day we have been here in Memphis serving. 

We were touched by this quote from Elder Christophe G. Giraud-Carrier during his talk from the October 2023 Worldwide General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

"We may have been raised in different cultures; we may come from different socioeconomic circumstances; our mortal heritage, including our nationality, skin color, food preferences, political orientation, etc., may vary greatly. But we are His children, all of us, without exception. We have the same divine origin and the same limitless potential through the grace of Jesus Christ."

May you each feel a sense of that limitless potential and see others as having the same potential.  We are all becoming..... 

Love, Lynn and Joell Archibald