The Season of Light

 

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has taught: “Many of our memorable and enduring Christmas traditions include different kinds of lights—lights on trees, lights in and on our homes, candles on our tables. May the beautiful lights of every holiday season remind us of Him who is the source of all light.”

We had 3 distinct experiences with beautiful light displays leading up to Christmas, and we wanted to share some of that beauty with you.

First, we were invited to attend a Christmas gathering by one of our MyBaby4Me partners here in Memphis.  Their office is located in the Crosstown Concourse in Memphis (which has an interesting history of it's own (What's Inside And Around The Crosstown Concourse? | I Love Memphis (ilovememphisblog.com).  The open house at their office was associated with the "lighting" of the atrium of the building.  We stepped out of their office onto a terrace overlooking the crowd and in one breathtaking instant, the entire space was filled with light and joy and the music of Christmas.  

Our second joyful lights display included a surprise we planned for the other 2 senior missionary couples serving here in Memphis.  We rented a minivan for the night, picked them up and enjoyed dinner together and then drive to Shelby Farms for their Starry Nights 1.5 mile drive-thru light display. We had enjoyed this particular experience last year at Christmas, but it was the first time the other two couples had experienced it.  It was a great joy to watch their wonder at every turn of the road and with every new work of light and color.

And because good things come in threes, our third light experience was a gathering of all of the Senior Missionaries from the Arkansas Little Rock mission and attending the light display at the Garvin Gardens Winter Light Festival in Hot Springs, Arkansas.  This 210 acre botanical garden and the two-mile walking trail is transformed into a Winter Wonderland.  It was breathtaking.  

And Not So Good Things Also Come In Threes.....

Memphis has had a violent year.  We try to be "situationally aware" as counseled during our MTC training; we watch the news and often see places where we travel and apartment complexes we have been in while ministering to our women on the news being investigated as active crime scenes. 

We delight when "new" women come to MyBaby4Me for the first time.  We met Irene recently.  She is the mother of 8 children ages 1-18 years and is newly pregnant.  She was referred to us by a co-worker who has participated in MyBaby4Me. Following the first group meeting she attended, we took a few minutes to talk with her.  She said she was a recent widow.  Her partner and father of all of their children had gone to visit his sister at her apartment at the end of October.  He was concerned about his sister because she hadn't returned his texts or answered his calls.  He had 2 of his teenage boys with him as he knocked on his sister's apartment door.  Suddenly, a next-door neighbor came out of his apartment with a gun and shot him.....and he died there in front of his boys.  Irene found out that she was pregnant about 2 weeks after he died.  The story made me weep, which made her weep.  She will live every moment of her pregnancy and every day of this child's life with the painful memory of that single violent and unprovoked act.  She is strong, continuing as a single parent working hard to take care of her children.  She sees this unexpected pregnancy as a blessing.  How can we do less?

Kayla and Rashaun Williams and their 1-year-old and six-year-old sons have been a delight to know.  They are expecting a baby girl in March.  We had the support of an entire ward here in the Memphis Stake to help them furnish their first apartment a few short weeks ago.

On a weekday afternoon recently, Rashaun was at work and Kayla was home with her 2 boys.  She heard a disturbance in the parking lot beneath their 3rd floor apartment.  She felt an urgency to get her little boys out of their bedroom and into the living room with her. Just as they did that, gunfire erupted in the parking lot.  Rashaun told us later that the police found over 50 bullet casings outside in that parking lot.  A bullet came through the boy's bedroom wall and lodged in the headboard of one of the beds in their bedroom....a place where they had been playing moments earlier. The family is physically OK, but no longer feel safe in their own home.

And the third occasion to grieve came when one of our women sent the following text:

"Sorry to miss yesterday. I had to be with my family on the passing of my 4 year old baby cousin who accidentally shot his self."

We had seen the story on the news about a 4 year old gaining access to an unsecured gun in his apartment and dying of the gunshot injury.  

As we celebrated the holidays, it was impossible to not also carry the grief from each of these experiences.  

Santa For the Young/Young at Heart and Those That Made It Happen

Vickie Terry, the NAACP Executive Director here in Memphis, oversees MyBaby4Me efforts and is actively engaged.  She attends many of our group meetings, always wants to know the details of our women and their lives and works as an advocate for them in many settings.  She has accompanied women in court hearings, transported them, taken then groceries and paid for gas for their cars.  

Vickie felt strongly that we should have a Christmas party and provide gifts to all of our current MyBaby4Me participants.  We all knew that most of our families would have no gifts for their children without outside support.  But this was no small task....the list included over 50 children.  Vickie came to MyBaby4Me groups over a couple of weeks and had the women write down their children's names, ages, sizes and Christmas wishes.  We set Saturday, December 16th as the date for the party. We secured a black Santa for the event.  A member of the church who has professional photography skills offered his services to document the day.  We contacted the Stake Leadership in the Memphis and Memphis North Stakes, who further connected us with wards in both stakes to help.  We delegated entire families and their wish lists to 8 different wards and asked them to help us choose gifts and wrap them for these children.  And then we prayed that each child would receive at least one gift that made their Christmas bright.  

The week before the event, Santa's elves (in the Archibald's Honda) drove across the region gathering the generous donations of so many members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Each trip filled our car to overflowing.  Each ward had stories of how fulfilling the wishes of these children had blessed their church members.  And we were filled with such gratitude.  

The party was a joyful, loud scene with 8 donated bicycles, lots of food, Santa charming babies and children and families leaving with large black garbage sacks stuffed to overflowing with gifts to open on Christmas. We probably violated fire codes with the number of people in a single room.  We are now putting together pictures to share back with all those who helped make this happen.  We wanted to share some with you. We will never forget this MyBaby4Me Christmas here in Memphis.  

MyBaby4Me is GROWING 

Our mentor and the church leader most closely connected to MyBaby4Me is Dr. Beheshti.  He was our first contact about the project and we remain in close connection.  In addition to his active work as an Interventional Radiologist in Little Rock, he has been busy with development work on MyBaby4Me for the future.  We are excited that there is another missionary couple who now have their mission call as Coordinators for MyBaby4Me and will launch a parallel project in Nashville on February15th, 2024.   There are additional developmental discussions happening in at least 2 other cities in the South....with likely startups happening later in the spring and then in the summer.  In addition to these sites, we have actively worked to support a grant application for an opportunity for funding for MyBaby4Me through the state of Tennessee.  The Tennessee Strong Families Grant is due on January 5th and contains projections and funding proposals for the next 3 years for work here in Memphis based on our experiences to date.  AND the renovations at the NAACP building are progressing; we hope to return to that building for our meetings by February. The commercial kitchen is coming into focus.  Our work load will be made easier by being able to be back in the building for our group meetings and being able to have food prepared for our meetings on site. 

Closing with a Christmas Miracle

Roeisha came to MyBaby4Me for the first time in early November. Pregnant with her first child, she was living with the family of the father of her baby.  She was due with her son on Christmas Day. 

As is the case with many of our women, life changes quickly.  The father of her baby entered into a different relationship and left his parent's home.  Roeisha was asked to leave her current housing by December 15th.....10 days before her due date.  We began an intense process of supporting her housing search as her due date rapidly approached.   Then her doctor made a decision to induce labor on December 17th.  She had no job, no car, no support person in her life, no money, and now no home to bring a newborn home to.  We made sure there was a backup plan in place for her that included a hospital social worker referral for a 2 week motel stay following hospital discharge....but felt that was far short of a secure long-term plan for her.  She was tearful and depressed.  She was admitted to the hospital for her delivery with the layette for her little boy that we provided her in a storage tote and her personal possessions in a second storage tote.  

Roeisha gave birth the morning of December 18th to a healthy 6 lb 12 oz little boy.

During the morning of December 20th we were helping with the Missionary Zone Conference when we received a phone call from an agency that we had been working with in Roeisha's behalf.  They agreed to take her and would transport her and the baby directly from the hospital to a bedroom of her own in a group home.  She would have a stable place for the next few months.....and work with social workers and case managers at the agency to hone her resume, do a job search, get a good job, and qualify for housing which they would help furnish.  Tears were shed as we received this news. It seemed a Christmas Miracle.  A new mother with a new baby with a home for Christmas.   

As we close this year, we are grateful for the chance to serve as called service missionaries in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the MyBaby4Me project her in Memphis, TN.  We join our testimonies with those across the world of that holy birth in a manger and the example of our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

May joy and peace bless your holiday season.

Lynn and Joell Archibald

Elder and Sister Archibald 

 

Cotton Harvest Time in the South

Picking the cotton, pick pick pick!

Sharp prickles cut my hands,

Blood leaves my palms quick, quick quick!

My heart pangs for a lost home-land,

Tears hug my cheeks, drip drip drip!

I put my pain away, hide my eyes,

Keep working, lest I am whip, whip whipped!

(Sambanth Denis)

We have watched as the cotton plants have matured and in the last few weeks, harvest has happened. It is sobering to ponder the manual labor (largely slave labor) that it historically took to harvest cotton.  It must have been back-breaking work in extreme heat conditions.  Now fully mechanized, the plants are stripped of the fluffy balls and the cotton is rolled into big rolls to be hauled away for production. We are used to seeing acres of hay cut and baled and acres of wheat cut and run through combines, but seeing cotton production was a new experience. 

Good Things Come in BIG Packages

 

If these pictures don't melt your heart, we don't know what will.  Ashley and Winston have been attending MyBaby4Me classes weekly since she was 9 weeks pregnant.  They have been eager learners and have been so supportive of other women when they see a way to support them. They have participated in interviews and been willing to be on camera to talk about MyBaby4Me even though they were uncomfortable being in the public light, because they feel strongly about the benefit our classes have provided them.  Their little guy was stubborn when it came to delivery and Ashley delivered via C-section after 24 hours of an induced labor.  Ashley is not very tall, and their baby boy was 9 lb 9 oz.  We are thankful for another good outcome and another healthy baby. 

"How Great Will Be Your Joy"

In the recent October Semi-Annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Elder Ronald A. Rasband (one of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) spoke about the need for more senior missionaries and the contributions they can make by serving.  He said the following: 

"I have called many couples to serve and watched as the Light of Christ has filled their countenances. At their return, they have described growing closer to the Lord and closer to one another, feeling the Spirit of the Lord pour down upon them, and knowing they are making a difference. Who would not want that?"

Our motivation to serve a mission comes from feeling deeply blessed in our lives and wanting to "give back" in a meaningful way. Our Stake President shared a quote with us:  "Who we serve is why we serve". Our Savior Jesus Christ is our perfect example of service.  He put others needs ahead of His own, he saw each individual for the potential they held, he served unconditionally and ALWAYS with infinite love.  Our women meet in groups, but we serve them one by one, just as Christ did during his time on earth. We didn't ponder the blessings we would receive by serving but agree with Elder Rasband that we are being shaped by being willing to serve. 

A Day in Little Rock with the Senior Missionaries of the                        Arkansas Little Rock Mission

Our mission relationship with the other senior missionaries here has been different than other senior missionaries usually experience.  We are in Memphis, where there are 2 other senior missionary couples. We know the Boyces and the Wrights well and enjoy spending time with them.  There are a number of senior missionaries in Little Rock in the mission office, then several more couples scattered in remote places across the mission. We have never even met some of the senior missionaries serving in our own mission because the distances are great and our roles are so different from theirs. 

On Saturday, October 14th we all traveled to Little Rock and spent a day together playing tourists.  We visited the Clinton Presidential Museum, rode the Little Rock Trolley, had great group lunch, and then visited the first State House of Arkansas built in 1860 and beautifully restored. The Clinton Presidential Museum contains true to scale replicas of the Oval Office and the Cabinet Room in the White House. 

The Weight of It All.......

Mayzahn is one of our women who began attending MyBaby4Me at the beginning of September.  She is the mom of several children but usually only brings her baby boy to class.  He is 8 months old.  He was an extreme premie, having been born at 26 weeks gestation.  This little guy wears the consequences of his early delivery.....14 weeks before his due date. He is tube fed via a gastrostomy tube going directly into his little stomach and is on oxygen 24/7 via nasal progs.  We are amazed to watch Mayzahn arrive at class and rush out to help her carry everything into our group including her big oxygen concentrator.  Small oxygen tanks can provide oxygen for a period of time for those that are dependent, but a concentrator which plugs into the wall can pull in room air and do the job of creating pure oxygen for delivery.  Concentrators are used when the need for oxygen exceeds what a smaller tank can provide. The baby's concentrator is the size of a large piece of luggage and is on wheels.  It is safe to say that the concentrator weighs more than the 50 lbs allowed for a checked bag without paying extra.  And here she is, lifting it in and out of vehicles and up stairs while carrying her baby in his car seat and a hefty backpack/diaper bag. 

We watch and chat with Mayzahn as she prepares her baby's tube feedings which need to be done every 4 hours around the clock.  Each time, she carefully measures multiple medications in liquid form and specialized formula, then lays her little boy cross ways on her lap and delivers the life-providing liquid to him, all the while talking to him and helping him learn to suck on a pacifier.  She does it all so casually, as if every mom could do this. She does it in public view, night or day 24/7.

Mayzahn's baby sees a variety of specialists and it is rare for her to have a week without medical appointments for him. We have been able to help them by providing transportation to these appointments.  Mayzahn is a responsible momma and is so sweet when requesting this help....she begins her text to us with "Gma (short for grandma because Joell is usually the one setting up the Uber Health ride), my baby needs to go to the heart doctor or to therapy or to the neurologist or to the gastro doctor."  It is not unusual for a text to come into the MyBaby4Me phone at 3:15 am requesting a ride for the coming day; we always know at that time that Mayzahn is up for medications and feeding time for her baby. 

This week, we had a request from Mayzahn for an orthopedic appointment.  We were a little surprised because we weren't aware of any problems that her little boy had that required that specialty. In talking with her about that appointment, she explained that it wasn't for the baby, it was for her.  She exposed her forearm as she explained that she was in a bad car accident just after her baby was born. that shattered the bones in her lower arm.  She had wrist-to-elbow fresh scars and has titanium rods and screws in that arm.  She is working with orthopedic surgeons and physical therapists to gain feeling and strength in that arm. The long angry red scars on her arm took our breath away, and the realization of all she had dealt with just in the last few months brought tears to our eyes.  She spoke casually and joked about lifting the weight of her baby's bag and baby's car seat and baby's oxygen concentrator as being a kind of therapy.....she has never once complained of the pain or burdens and the weight of it all using that injured arm. Mayzahn is an example of the sacrifices that mothers make.  

The Impact of Having a Criminal Record

Having been arrested, even for a misdemeanor charge, has impacts on many parts of a future life.  A criminal record can impact the ability to find a good job and reduce life-long earning potential. It can affect college admission and financial aid eligibility. It may impact your ability to get a license to work as a health care provider.   It will show up when you apply to rent an apartment or (long term) purchase a home. It will show up when your credit is run to buy a car. 

We had a recent incident with a pregnant 17 year old; she attended MyBaby4Me group, then went home and joined friends for a trip to the local Target store.....where she was arrested for shoplifting.  When she told us about it, she related she was just trying to get stuff for the baby boy she is expecting.  We told her we would help her with everything she needed for the baby. She is now caught in a series of court appearances and legal consequences.  Perhaps fortunately for her, she is a minor and many long-term impacts may not affect her because juvenile charges are usually not disclosed once the juvenile turns 18. 

This topic also came up with 6 of our women as they were gathering and waiting for the start of our group at a recent session.  It was interesting to listen to their spontaneous conversation about their individual arrest stories; most involved "boosting" or shoplifting.  They related what their charges were (higher charges if you are caught after you leave the store vs. inside the store), how you can be charged as an accomplice by being in a car with someone who has shoplifted, which judges were more sympathetic than others, how it felt to spend time in a jail cell, and how their legal charges have followed them. It is safe to say that at least 5 of the 6 women in this conversation have criminal histories that we were not aware of. They are juggling court dates and plea deals and relationships with probation officers.

Trying to get around their criminal history, some of these women have had to enter into sub-leases or having utilities in someone else's name.  This subjects them to the possibility of being taken advantage of.  Others have paid exorbitant interest rates for a vehicle purchase or been denied good jobs that they were otherwise qualified for. 

We don't condone what they have done but do cheer them on when they express a desire for a different life.  We see the consequences that complicate the things they want to do and achieve in their lives. It is the reality of the population we are working with. 

A Visit from a General Authority and His Wife 

During the weekend of November 5th-6th, we had very special visitors to Memphis; Elder Vern and Sister Alicia Stanfill. Elder Stanfill is a General Authority of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and serves as the President of the North America Southeast Area.  Elder Stanfill spoke at the Memphis Stake Conference Leadership Sessions and Adult Sessions of Stake Conference on Saturday and the General Session of Stake Conference for all members on Sunday.  We then were blessed to meet with him and the other leaders of the MyBaby4Me project at the NAACP offices on Sunday afternoon.  Our final opportunity with Elder Stanfill and his wife was at dinner on Monday evening with our Mission President and his wife and the 2 other senior missionary couples here in Memphis.

In preparation for Elder Stanfill's visit, we were drawn to a talk he gave at a recent General Conference called "The Imperfect Harvest" (The Imperfect Harvest (churchofjesuschrist.org)

Here is a quote from that talk that speaks directly to our feelings about our efforts with MyBaby4Me:

"We must remember that whatever our best-but-imperfect offering is, the Savior can make it perfect. No matter how insignificant our efforts may seem, we must never underestimate the Savior’s power...Our clumsy efforts can lead to miracles, and in the process, we can participate in a perfect harvest."

Elder Stanfill and his wife were delightful.  They were so excited to share with us that they have followed MyBaby4Me from the beginning and wanted to hear about our experiences.  Elder Stanfill reported that there are other cities in the South that have expressed interest in MyBaby4Me, with Nashville likely to be the first expansion site within the next few months.  He said that managing the growth of MyBaby4Me so that it can be delivered in a standardized way in all sites will be a challenge and asked for our help in writing a "playbook" from our learnings that can be used with starting in new areas.  We are humbled to be a part of something that will expand to a larger scale. 

A Ninja Turtle for Halloween!

Kamari is now almost 6 months old.  He was the 2nd baby born to a MyBaby4Me participant.  We loved his Halloween costume!

We would close with this scripture from Moroni 8:17

"And I am filled with charity, which is everlasting love; wherefore, all children are alike unto me; wherefore, I love little children with a perfect love; and they are all alike and partakers of salvation."

Until next month,

Lynn and Joell Archibald

Elder and Sister Archibald, Coordinators for MyBaby4Me.Memphis@gmail.com

Belong, Believe, Be Aware, Become

 

Our 4 Bs

We wanted to spend a minute and talk about the powerful "Be" statements for MyBaby4Me.

BELONG:  We work hard to create an open, accepting, comfortable space for our families. We know that they will learn better if they trust that we and the other class participants welcome and accept them. These are "their" women!  They identify with each other and can easily draw parallels from the life stories of those in the room.  They can (and are) amazingly open with their challenges, and it has been beautiful to see the love extended by class members when someone is vulnerable and emotional. The phrase "...and comfort those that stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:9) comes to mind. Recently one woman was tearfully sharing that she never felt her own mother loved or accepted her and has a strained relationship even to this day with her mother.  And another woman said "But look at you!  You are here, you are trying to be a good momma to your kids, and your kids will never have the feelings you have now.  They KNOW you love them."  What powerful reinforcing encouragement coming from another "sister" in the room. 

BELIEVE:  Our goal is to help these women come to know that they CAN change their lives to be different than they may have experienced as a child, that they can grow, that they can finish or continue school, that they can have a healthy relationship with a partner, that they can care for and love and nurture their baby...to spark the divinity within them.  Sometimes the "believe" statement comes from a woman receiving a tiny newborn outfit for their baby....their eyes light up and all of a sudden, they believe. They sense that they are a part of the miracle of creation, and they need to rise to the occasion of being the kind of parent they wished had raised them. 

BE AWARE:  Prematurity represents a significant part of high infant mortality rates.  Babies born too soon without the ability to sustain life outside of the protection of their mother's womb.  It is our goal to make sure all of our pregnant women know what sensations and symptoms are normal and what are not. Premature labor can often be stopped if a woman reaches care in time. We talk openly and honestly about contractions, bleeding, groin pain, back pain.....and have actually transported women to care or gone with them to act as an advocate in a medical setting if needed.  A full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks; every baby deserves every day they need to be born healthy. We want our women to be aware of anything that might be a threat to them or their baby; that includes anything they may take into their body (like drugs, tobacco, alcohol, medications) and any physical symptoms that may represent that they need immediate care.

BECOME: Are we not all "becoming"?  We enter this life as infants, a fresh canvas.  As we grow, each experience we have builds on our previous experiences. We make choices and learn and grow.  We ask our women hard questions.  Questions like, "What does it mean to you to provide for your family?' which leads to a discussion about steps within their grasp for getting a GED or finishing high school or getting job training or writing a resume or being successful in a job interview.  We got a phone call after that discussion in class the evening before; one of our women just wanted us to know that she had finished all her high school credits, but was very pregnant at the time of graduation and was too ashamed to walk across the stage to accept her diploma.  What she heard motivated her to call the State Board of Education and request her diploma and her high school transcript.  It had been 10 years and for the first time, she had a document that she needed to apply for a job.  Becoming. Looking forward to what more she can achieve.  

Food For Families

Our other adventures this past month included the miracle of a food delivery from Salt Lake City for our women and families. 

It was definitely a "loaves and fishes" multiplication story; we were expecting 12 pallets of shelf-stable groceries on that semi-truck and somehow the truck was sent with 24 pallets. TWICE AS MUCH as we had planned for. Senior and junior missionaries quickly adapted and made plans for storage for all that food, and miraculously unloaded and stacked it in 3 different locations in Memphis.  We provide a sack of groceries to every woman at every class.  The groceries we received will last until the next set of missionaries arrive to replace us here in Memphis.  We have peanut butter and jam and pancake mix and syrup and spaghetti sauce and noodles.  We have milk. We have canned chili and stew. Stomachs need not be empty.

Our Beautiful Babies are Adding Up

We had 2 of our women give birth on the same day!  And as we write this issue of our blog, we are anxiously waiting for news of another birth today.  Each one is a miracle.  So perfect.  How we share in the joy of families as these babies arrive; each one bringing hope for the future and a love that is so deep in the bearing of a child that it can hardly be expressed.  We have had 7 babies born to MyBaby4Me women since we started. Here are the two that share the same birthday....one boy and one girl. 

What Do We Actually Teach at MyBaby4Me Groups?

Great question!  We base our teaching on the issues that can affect and reduce Infant Mortality Rates.  Most of our curriculum was gifted to MyBaby4Me from the Moms2Be program at Ohio State University. We have also added to those materials based on our partnerships here in Memphis and those willing to bring their knowledge and experience to our families.  

This past month we focused on the health impacts of Gratitude, Infant Safety (including choking and infant CPR with mannequins for practice), how and where to find resources like housing, food, transportation, utility assistance, etc. in Memphis, and how styles of communication can affect our relationships and the way our needs are either met or not met. October brings "Growing a Healthy Baby" class by University of Memphis Dietician students, Adverse Childhood Events and Trauma by counselors from Omni Health/the Family Intervention and Therapy Program, a Labor and Delivery class by the University of Tennessee Family Medicine Residency Program and a Managing Your Money class from the Financial Empowerment Program her in Memphis.  All of our topics relate to pregnancy outcomes.....either physical health or the Social Determinants of Health.  And we do all of this with children of all ages that come to our MyBaby4Me groups with our women.  We are so grateful for the many volunteers and partners/instructors that make all of this work. 

S.N.A.P/Food Stamp Limitations

Most people who have never had to rely on public assistance programs don't understand the "rules" that apply to receive and use those benefits.  

One barrier our women have is that "food stamps" (or what is formally called the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) only covers food.  No toilet paper or hand soap or deodorant or razors or sanitary supplies or paper towels or toilet cleaner or shampoo or toothpaste or laundry detergent or cleaning supplies.  

Low-income individuals and families depend on food stamps to eat, but how are they supposed to wash their hands to prepare food or wash their dishes after eating it, or clean themselves or their clothes when they don't have income to purchase these items?

We have, on more than one occasion, provided cleaning supplies to families in need. And sometimes a pan of brownies to let them know that we love them for wanting to clean their homes and their children's teeth and clothes and their floors. 

One Year Ago for the Archibalds

It was on September 30th of 2022 that we began attending weekly virtual meetings with MyBaby4Me leaders in preparation for our mission call.  We knew then that although we would be serving in the United States, we would be serving those whose race, ethnicity, backgrounds, and experience was very different from our own.  Our love for these women and families grew each day that we prepared to serve, and each day we have been here in Memphis serving. 

We were touched by this quote from Elder Christophe G. Giraud-Carrier during his talk from the October 2023 Worldwide General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

"We may have been raised in different cultures; we may come from different socioeconomic circumstances; our mortal heritage, including our nationality, skin color, food preferences, political orientation, etc., may vary greatly. But we are His children, all of us, without exception. We have the same divine origin and the same limitless potential through the grace of Jesus Christ."

May you each feel a sense of that limitless potential and see others as having the same potential.  We are all becoming..... 

Love, Lynn and Joell Archibald

MyBaby4Me: 9 Months of Work to Improve Outcomes for Moms and Babies

 

Life with Transportation Challenges The majority of our women do not have cars....or at least reliable cars or cars in working order.  Even though Memphis is a big metropolitan area, the MATA (area transportation authority) routes and timing of buses are far from adequate for the needs they have for themselves and their families.   Part of MyBaby4Me is providing free transportation to and from our group meetings; we don't want the lack of transportation to be a barrier to our women growing and learning.  So, Uber and Lyft have become 2nd nature to us....more to Lynn as he is the chief people-hauler-arranger.  Lynn lines up multiple back-to-back trips and then reversing the process for the return home after class.  That has proven challenging; since we are the ones ordering the rides, the services communicate with us about arrival time, driver profile and vehicle description/license plate info.  We, in turn need to call or text the family to give them those details, as well as when the driver is expected to arrive.  We have had Uber/Lyft cancel at the last minute, leave a woman and her children stranded because they didn't get to the car fast enough, and one driver who chain-smoked in his car the whole ride with a pregnant woman and her young child.   Effective July 1st, we entered into a contract with a black woman-owned business called MedHaul.  They have a federal grant to improve birth outcomes for black women so a partnership with them is a perfect match (another miracle for our miracle book).  Their drivers will actually communicate directly with the woman we have ordered the ride for, will go to their door and help them to the car, provide car seats and boosters as needed, and can be scheduled in advance.  AND, because of the nature of the grant, we can provide transportation to grocery stores, pharmacies and medical appts. because those things improve birth outcomes.  MedHaul has been such a blessing and has reduced our project operating expenses.  Even more important is that women and their children are treated with care and respect.
MyBaby4Me On the Move! We shared the news of the NAACP remodeling project in our last blog. We are excited that construction began on August 1st, which required that we move our classes to a different location during the construction process. It was a priority for the NAACP to keep classes in the same neighborhood familiar to our women. And then, a librarian from the close-by branch of the Memphis Public Library contacted the NAACP and offered to partner. We found a new best friend! The library has a goal of our women seeing them as a community resource and wants everyone to have a free library card. We have a goal of having an ADA accessible and inclusive environment that will allow us access multiple days/week and allow us to feed women and their children in that space. We began meeting at the library during the first week of August and our women are now checking out books on child development and getting help with job searches and resume skills via library programs.
Baby coming soon! Shartravia was 17 when she conceived and is 18 years old now. She comes from a family environment that has been chaotic with a mom who has used drugs and no longer has custody of her children. Shartravia shared with us that she wanted her life to be different. She has been a motivated learner. She was staying in a single room in a boarding house; it was probably the worst living environment we have ever seen....and was evicted from that place on July 31st because it is being torn down. We have worked hard to help her identify a stable place to live by the time of her due date (September 5th). Shartravia asked if we could host a baby shower for her at the NAACP offices. We were glad to do so, and had a "Layettes with Love" donation all ready to give her. We set the date for a Saturday in July and she invited 20-25 people. We ordered a cake, decorated the room, put the layette donations out on a table and sent an Uber to pick Shartravia up. She was all dressed up for the occasion; no one she invited came....not even her mother. Oh how my momma heart hurt for her as she worked her cell phone and we heard "I thought you'all was comin to my Baby Shower" on the repeat. It was a hard day and an example of the fragile or non-existent or rapidly changing support systems our MyBaby4Me moms have. We showed her extra love that day as we took her home and reminded her that because of her resolve to create a different kind of life for her baby, he will never feel what she was feeling that day. Shartravia has now settled in to live with her father and his girlfriend, who are excited about the pregnancy and baby and supporting her. We are delivering her layette, diapers, and a donated crib and changing table to her this week. We are encouraging her to engage in a H.S. completion program. Shartravia has accepted the opportunity to be a part of the Nurse Family Partnership program here in Memphis and has her own home visiting nurse for weekly visits with her and her baby. For all of the challenges, we see resilience and a hope for a different life for her and her baby.
The Impact of Blood Pressure on Black Maternal Health Outcomes When the autopsy results for Olympic athlete Tori Bowles were released, it got the attention of our MyBaby4Me women.  It had been determined that she died when 8 months pregnant.  It is well-established that black women have higher rates of death associated with pregnancy than women of other races. Blood pressure is a big contributor to that mortality rate.  More black women begin their pregnancy with elevated blood pressure, more black women develop blood pressure problems during a pregnancy (and they come on more suddenly) and more black women develop blood pressure complications in the weeks and months following delivery. We wanted our women to hear about these risks and the steps they could take to identify to manage those risks. We were so fortunate to be connected with Dr. Ashley Matthews, who is an Associate Professor at the University of Tennessee School of Medicine and directs the Family Practice Residency Program. The UT places a special emphasis on OB training for their FP doctors, because many of them go on to practice in rural areas.  Dr. Matthews was eager to come and speak to our MyBaby4Me classes, and it was a powerful experience.  To have a black female physician (who came in scrubs from her work) who understands the fear our women experience and gave them information they trust was very meaningful to them. We can't necessarily measure impact of those efforts (measuring things that are prevented from happening is hard), but our women took the discussion seriously.
Where is Home Now? How is Housing Related to Health? "My dad kicked me and my baby out."   "I won't be at that address tomorrow cuz I moved from my sister's place to stay with my momma."  "My dad and his girlfriend have an extra bedroom that I can stay in." "I gotta get out of here but don't have no place to live." "The housing inspectors be comin' Tuesday and gonna tell me I need to take my babies and go to a motel because the mold is so bad here."  "I feel safe here as long as I keep my door locked." All things we have heard in the past weeks. For most of us, we have an address that we come and go from each day, sleep in the same bed every night, and (hopefully) have clothes and a closet, a kitchen with a fridge, stove and food and supportive family that we share those things with.  What happens when none of that is true? When home is an elusive concept? How do we reinforce safe sleep for an infant if the only sleep surface is an air mattress? How do our families receive mail when their address on file is somewhere many moves ago? Where do they go when their slumlord doesn't provide or repair the air conditioning and the heat index is 110 degrees?   One of our women has an apartment infested by rats.  She has a king-sized mattress, but it is on the floor.  She texted us and asked if we could get her a bed frame to get the mattress off the floor.  The rats have chewed through clothing in the apartment and now are chewing on the mattress while she is in bed.  Her landlord is unresponsive to the issue. She pays $875/month for her apartment + utilities. Which comes first?  Poverty or housing insecurity or the ability to find a livable wage job or transportation to get to work or child care so you can go to work?
Getting the MyBaby4Me Brand Out There! We continue to be included/invited to have vendor tables at events with partners.  Our communication staff with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints have provided us some materials that help us set up a professional-looking display and have something to provide to the pregnant women and families that come to these events. Recently we participated in an event that was held to honor and promote breastfeeding during National Breastfeeding Month.  We love talking with women and meeting new partners and sharing news about the resources of MyBaby4Me.
Sights and Sounds of the Mid-South Summer Have you ever heard a cicada?  We began hearing them here around July 4th and they haven't stopped.  They have an exceptionally loud screech....think of Utah crickets multiplied.  What's more is that a single cicada can sound like a thousand.  How people in the south think that sitting on their porches on summer evenings listening to cicadas is relaxing, we will never understand.  One cicada got through our front door; he was undetected until later that day and it was worse than seeing the big cockroaches that lived with us for the first few months!   And this is the "Bike Arch" at Overton Park.  It makes our hearts happy when we drive this route in Memphis.  Dedicated in 2014, it marks a bike/pedestrian path through the park. Originally, a freeway was planned to be constructed through this green space; opponents fought that plan and this bike arch by a local artist celebrates the preservation of that green space for public use.
A Full Term Pregnancy is 40 Weeks....We Hit the 40 Week Mark of Our Missionary Service We cheer our pregnant women every week that goes by and they are able to get that much closer to having a baby close to their due date.  Prematurity is one of the major causes of Infant Mortality. There are so many parallels between those 40 weeks of pregnancy and our first 40 weeks of our mission.  When a woman finds out she is pregnant, she may be anxious, scared, unsure of how life will look at the end of that 40 weeks, unsure of how she will "become" a mother and know how to mother.  Relationships change, self-identity changes, lifestyle changes, jobs/income may change, housing may shift.....a LOT to adjust to. As missionaries receive their mission call and leave home to serve, many of the same things happen.  Initial anxiety and uncertainty about one's assignment, a new living environment, leaving friends/family/community and gaining new friends/family/community and "becoming" something different or more than we were before. Excitement, anxiety, worry, anticipation are common emotions with both new experiences. Just as motherhood changes a woman, our missionary service has changed us.  We have marked 40 weeks but aren't done yet!  We are planning for the possibility of more classes in other parts of Memphis, the possibility of MyBaby4Me in other cities in the South, on how best to transition this project with new missionaries and celebrating the births of healthy babies and their first birthdays!
Going Through Hard Times In Romans 8:28, Paul wrote: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God...."  As we get to know our women and their challenges, we think about how hard their lives have been and (in many cases) still are. We are drawn to a General Conference address by Elder James B. Martino.  "Our Heavenly Father, who loves us completely and perfectly, permits us to have experiences that will allow us to develop the traits and attributes we need to become more Christlike.  Our trials come in many forms, but each will allow us to become more like the Savior as we learn to recognize the good that comes from each experience.  As we understand this doctrine, we gain greater assurance of our Father's love. We may never know in this life why we face what we do, but we can feel confident that we can grow from the experience." With appreciation for your support, Lynn and Joell Archibald